Cork was home—I spent most of my adult life there, so it’s always in my heart, no matter where I am or who I’m with. Sometimes, you can even tell by the way I speak. Truthfully, I probably miss Cork more than I’d like to admit. It wasn’t always easy there, but I knew that city like the back of my hand. I lived all over—north, south, and right in the city center.
I miss Cork, and yet I don’t. It was home for so long that it grew on me—like it does, built on marshland—and became hard to leave.
I miss the friends who became family, especially those old days of coffee and cigarette catch-ups (none of us smoke anymore, but those were the days). I miss the Saturday trips to the English Market for groceries, stopping at the chocolate stall to pick out three favorite pralines.
I miss my time at the Boole Library at UCC, researching for my thesis that later turned into my first book. I loved diving into those old stories, disappearing into worlds that felt as real as the one outside the library walls.
I don’t miss the work at Bessborough where I was a gardener. I loved the gardening part but not the boss or the lads, even if I learned plenty from their presence about who I don’t want to be—and about not fitting into the boxes they put their women in.
I don’t miss the bullying or the mean-spirited attitudes, nor do I miss those days of couch-surfing when I suddenly lost my home in 2017. That struggle to find housing was a big reason I had to leave Ireland, as Cork felt more like Berlin, with long queues just to see a room—never mind an apartment. The homelessness crisis in Ireland still stuns me, knowing that families where both parents work full-time are still forced to live in hotels or hostels. Even after I left in November 2017, it hasn’t improved; despite new housing, the rents remain steep, and buying a home feels out of reach for most.
I don’t really mind the rain—I get plenty of it here in Belgium too. And the plants love it!
But I miss hearing the Irish voices, the pub atmosphere, even if I never really drunk, the music, simply the craic. In all fairness, though, so much has changed, and I’m grateful for all of it: what was, what’s been, and what is now.
Safe travels and have a wonderful journey at your new destination. Enjoyed this post: so much resonating. Missing London and fave memory: after late night clubbing, I'd wake to friend making us French press coffee, toast and blackberry jam and we'd chat enjoying early morning. It was such a lovely simple way to appreciate peaceful friends, sunshine, and being. My time in London (and reflecting after), I learned a lot about being intentional about seeking peace/joy/space to emote cause sometimes the body just needs a cry and time to release all the bad. What you said resonates with me: "they will never understand you needing to pass on plans to pick up a shift." Some won't. And, I've grown deeply fond of friends who get this and know that some of the most fun gatherings can involve not spending cash and instead giving time to sit and talk, go for a walk, play board games, mid-day dance party with that portable speaker.
Ah Lauren! Love this frank list of the goods and bads of a place. I've recently moved from London to the seaside and the only thing I miss is being around the corner from friends. Tis the most important thing innit? So pleased that you got to be in the effervescent presence of our much beloved @LIVINGANDLAUGHINGWITHLOU - I'm hoping I will get to hang out with her IRL someday!
I feel very close to this Substack and honoured to have been present to watch your writing magic in flow 💖 From one adventure to another L, this is what life is all about 💖 I smiled reading your list because for this first time ever reading your Substack I now understand so much & feel so lucky to have got to spend such intimate time in your world 🌎 so proud of you in a million ways & honoured to have been close-by to witness you closing this door & opening another. Let the fun begin x
A place I left...I have a lot of those. Seeing as it's on my mind (as Cuddles and I are completing our 2yr getting married thing by finally doing the legal vit - we already had the ceremony wnd stuff -there next weekend), Keele University. I didn't actually live on campus, but I lived in the area specifically for that, for 4 years.
It's where I met Cuddles.
It's where I met my non-Cuddles best friend.
It's where I studied my butt off for a dual degree.
It's where I turned up at the chapel and slowly wound up playing djembe most Sundays (I had a mini fan club, it was very weird), running Tuesday evening medatitive prayer spaces, and eventually started up an LGBT Christian/Non-Christian social club (which used to have to be kept secret so certain people didn't get all upset, but is now advertised openly for all to see).
It's where I made various other friends who I love so much and have been so glad to keep, in particular one of my tutors who I got close to over my time there.
It's where I saw more squirrels than I've seen in my entire life. They're the unofficial mascot, cos they're everywhere, and pretty friendly cos many generations have grown up around students by this point.
The Uni is at the top if a giant hill, the nearest town is at the bottom, and attached to a village, which makes it pretty unique.
There's a gorgeous woods. It's the most beautiful thing in autumn, and when it snows.
It has its own microclimate thanks to the location so it gets mire snow, but also all of the rain. It's a watershed for the area, so...wet. But that makes the spring and summer sunny days even more special.
It was a place where I learned I have brains and can use them.
I learned that I am apparently charming, ibtelligent, inquisitive, and a delight to have as a student.
Going there at 26 was ideal for me, I could take the enjoyment, didn't need to party but was still young enough to do stuff, and was old enough to have a different relationship with the tutors than the young'uns were.
I managed to write a dissertation each for my two subjects. I still have zero idea how I managed that. Pure stubbornness, maybe...
I do miss it still, sometimes. I'm glad we've been able to get married there (both times). It was an incredibly good 4yrs. I couldn't do it now, but it was amazing to get to do it then. And I absolutely made the right choice. I turned down one of our older, classical places to choose Keele - the place that once declared itself an independent state, complete with passports etc, to protest against Thatcher 😆
It was a good place and a good time, and I got so much more from being there than I can say. And also my Cuddles, which is the best everything 😍🥰
I just made Cuddles her favourite meal. The first thing I ever made for her: tuna melts. She adores them.
I love cooking. I can't do so much these days cos kf everything, but I love to when I can. If you ever get your butt over here, I'll cook you something nice 😁 I enjoy feeding people when I can!
Love this, especially your lists! A reminder to be grateful for the little things.
Three things I miss from my time living in London:
- hanging out with my gorgeous little godson (who is all grown up now)
- the bagel shop that was open until all hours
- having my mum come down from Nottingham to visit for a week (she would always clean, cook dinner for me and come on trips with my class - the children LOVED her. I don’t know how she managed to get ten-year-olds singing and marching around to ‘The Grand Old Duke of York’! 😍
Things I Miss and Don’t Miss About Cork, Ireland
Cork was home—I spent most of my adult life there, so it’s always in my heart, no matter where I am or who I’m with. Sometimes, you can even tell by the way I speak. Truthfully, I probably miss Cork more than I’d like to admit. It wasn’t always easy there, but I knew that city like the back of my hand. I lived all over—north, south, and right in the city center.
I miss Cork, and yet I don’t. It was home for so long that it grew on me—like it does, built on marshland—and became hard to leave.
I miss the friends who became family, especially those old days of coffee and cigarette catch-ups (none of us smoke anymore, but those were the days). I miss the Saturday trips to the English Market for groceries, stopping at the chocolate stall to pick out three favorite pralines.
I miss my time at the Boole Library at UCC, researching for my thesis that later turned into my first book. I loved diving into those old stories, disappearing into worlds that felt as real as the one outside the library walls.
I don’t miss the work at Bessborough where I was a gardener. I loved the gardening part but not the boss or the lads, even if I learned plenty from their presence about who I don’t want to be—and about not fitting into the boxes they put their women in.
I don’t miss the bullying or the mean-spirited attitudes, nor do I miss those days of couch-surfing when I suddenly lost my home in 2017. That struggle to find housing was a big reason I had to leave Ireland, as Cork felt more like Berlin, with long queues just to see a room—never mind an apartment. The homelessness crisis in Ireland still stuns me, knowing that families where both parents work full-time are still forced to live in hotels or hostels. Even after I left in November 2017, it hasn’t improved; despite new housing, the rents remain steep, and buying a home feels out of reach for most.
I don’t really mind the rain—I get plenty of it here in Belgium too. And the plants love it!
But I miss hearing the Irish voices, the pub atmosphere, even if I never really drunk, the music, simply the craic. In all fairness, though, so much has changed, and I’m grateful for all of it: what was, what’s been, and what is now.
THANK YOU for sharing all of this! This really resonated with me: "It was home for so long that it grew on me."
Safe travels and have a wonderful journey at your new destination. Enjoyed this post: so much resonating. Missing London and fave memory: after late night clubbing, I'd wake to friend making us French press coffee, toast and blackberry jam and we'd chat enjoying early morning. It was such a lovely simple way to appreciate peaceful friends, sunshine, and being. My time in London (and reflecting after), I learned a lot about being intentional about seeking peace/joy/space to emote cause sometimes the body just needs a cry and time to release all the bad. What you said resonates with me: "they will never understand you needing to pass on plans to pick up a shift." Some won't. And, I've grown deeply fond of friends who get this and know that some of the most fun gatherings can involve not spending cash and instead giving time to sit and talk, go for a walk, play board games, mid-day dance party with that portable speaker.
Oooh this comment got me in a lot of the feels! Thank you for sharing these memories as they feel familiar even though not mine.
And so much yes to those low cost/no cost fun times. The funnest of times 🧡🧡
First things first.
🧡🧡🧡 Thank you.
Ah Lauren! Love this frank list of the goods and bads of a place. I've recently moved from London to the seaside and the only thing I miss is being around the corner from friends. Tis the most important thing innit? So pleased that you got to be in the effervescent presence of our much beloved @LIVINGANDLAUGHINGWITHLOU - I'm hoping I will get to hang out with her IRL someday!
I feel this! I have moved a lot and that part never gets easier, but I get better at maintaining the friendships that are important to me 🧡🧡🧡
I CANNOT WAIT for the day I see two of the loveliest ladies in the same photo together!
I feel very close to this Substack and honoured to have been present to watch your writing magic in flow 💖 From one adventure to another L, this is what life is all about 💖 I smiled reading your list because for this first time ever reading your Substack I now understand so much & feel so lucky to have got to spend such intimate time in your world 🌎 so proud of you in a million ways & honoured to have been close-by to witness you closing this door & opening another. Let the fun begin x
Thanks for being there in my moving madness, Lou!
Safe travels!
A place I left...I have a lot of those. Seeing as it's on my mind (as Cuddles and I are completing our 2yr getting married thing by finally doing the legal vit - we already had the ceremony wnd stuff -there next weekend), Keele University. I didn't actually live on campus, but I lived in the area specifically for that, for 4 years.
It's where I met Cuddles.
It's where I met my non-Cuddles best friend.
It's where I studied my butt off for a dual degree.
It's where I turned up at the chapel and slowly wound up playing djembe most Sundays (I had a mini fan club, it was very weird), running Tuesday evening medatitive prayer spaces, and eventually started up an LGBT Christian/Non-Christian social club (which used to have to be kept secret so certain people didn't get all upset, but is now advertised openly for all to see).
It's where I made various other friends who I love so much and have been so glad to keep, in particular one of my tutors who I got close to over my time there.
It's where I saw more squirrels than I've seen in my entire life. They're the unofficial mascot, cos they're everywhere, and pretty friendly cos many generations have grown up around students by this point.
The Uni is at the top if a giant hill, the nearest town is at the bottom, and attached to a village, which makes it pretty unique.
There's a gorgeous woods. It's the most beautiful thing in autumn, and when it snows.
It has its own microclimate thanks to the location so it gets mire snow, but also all of the rain. It's a watershed for the area, so...wet. But that makes the spring and summer sunny days even more special.
It was a place where I learned I have brains and can use them.
I learned that I am apparently charming, ibtelligent, inquisitive, and a delight to have as a student.
Going there at 26 was ideal for me, I could take the enjoyment, didn't need to party but was still young enough to do stuff, and was old enough to have a different relationship with the tutors than the young'uns were.
I managed to write a dissertation each for my two subjects. I still have zero idea how I managed that. Pure stubbornness, maybe...
I do miss it still, sometimes. I'm glad we've been able to get married there (both times). It was an incredibly good 4yrs. I couldn't do it now, but it was amazing to get to do it then. And I absolutely made the right choice. I turned down one of our older, classical places to choose Keele - the place that once declared itself an independent state, complete with passports etc, to protest against Thatcher 😆
It was a good place and a good time, and I got so much more from being there than I can say. And also my Cuddles, which is the best everything 😍🥰
I just made Cuddles her favourite meal. The first thing I ever made for her: tuna melts. She adores them.
I love cooking. I can't do so much these days cos kf everything, but I love to when I can. If you ever get your butt over here, I'll cook you something nice 😁 I enjoy feeding people when I can!
I smiled so many times reading this!
I was actually thinking of my own list of things I’ll miss when I leave Canada. And then I read your substack!!
I’m tempted to say I’ll miss... nothing (angry face), but I know that it’s not true so here’s the truth :
- I’ll miss my friends, my wonderful friends I made here and I haven’t processed yet that I will not see them every week anymore in a few weeks :(
- I’ll miss the tranquility and peace of mind of walking in the streets without being catcalled
- I’ll miss automn and pumpkin flavoured everything
- let’s face it I’ll miss marple syrup
Can’t wait to see you in your next adventure !!!
MAPLE SYRUP! There is not enough checked baggage to get me through. I am going to miss poutine now I think of it!!!!!
Thanks for sharing this list, with you on the friends feeling. It is a wild feeling. Love you!
As an Agatha Christie fan I am pleased with what I assume was an auto-correct of miss maple to miss marple?!
HAHAHAHA YESSSSS
Oops yes it is 😂
I love you :)
I LOVE YOU!
I love the assurance that all is well by the time I read this. ♥️♥️♥️
IT IS IT IS!!! We did it! 🧡
Love this, especially your lists! A reminder to be grateful for the little things.
Three things I miss from my time living in London:
- hanging out with my gorgeous little godson (who is all grown up now)
- the bagel shop that was open until all hours
- having my mum come down from Nottingham to visit for a week (she would always clean, cook dinner for me and come on trips with my class - the children LOVED her. I don’t know how she managed to get ten-year-olds singing and marching around to ‘The Grand Old Duke of York’! 😍
Oh these are such lovely reflections, thank you for sharing Sarah!
P.S Your Mum sounds fab!