It was heartbreaking to watch my granny & grandad die. It was slow for both, though for different reasons. Grandad had bowel cancer and it was too far gone by the time they found it. He spent his last few months in hospital, his body shrinking, his big personality fading.
My granny had dementia. After grandad died, she struggled. Moved into a smaller house than the one they'd lived in since forever. Slowly got worse til she had to go into a home. The finish was particularly unpleasant, you know how dementia can be - people do all sorts of horrid things they'd never even dream of otherwise.
One time, there was a family party, can't remember what for. I came from where I was living, and shared a hotel room with granny for the weekend.
At the end, as we were packing to go, she stopped to say thank you to me, for not being impatient and snippy with her.
Broke my heart. But she was right, people were that way. Annoyed at her repeat questions, clearly feeling inconvenienced by her being there and need8ng someone to keep an eye on her, etc. I made it my job, and hung out with her the whole time.
When she died, it was after a massive stroke, and she lay unconscious in a hospital bed, scrunched up so small, until another came to take what was left.
Her funeral was horrible. People just acting like it was an annoying inconvenience to get through.
My sister asked me if I'd seen that too, and yep, I had.
It was also the first time anyone but immediate family had seen me since coming out as trans. Barely anyone bothered to even pretend they cared I was there. I was one of the pall bearers - all her grandkids and one great grandkid were. But that was it. A "well I suppose we shouldn't leave [deadname] out" thing.
It was also the first time they'd met Cuddles. Me showing up with a person was quite the unusual event, but nobody cared. I think got more reaction introducing her to my granny's unconscious, dying body 😠
Its all in the memories they left me though. No amount of my mother trying to tell me how awful her parents were works. And no, they weren't the best parents. But they were good people, and amazing grandparents. They were good to me when I had nobody. They were good to others just because they needed help.
Sorry for yet another long ramble 😆 I actually have my absentee grandfather on my mind today. So much has he had to do with my life that when my mum yesterday told me grandad had a fall, it took me a solid few seconds to realise who she was talking about!
Anyway. Love to you and poppy. I hope you can keep making him smile for a long time yet 💜
Beautiful, painful, joyful, sorrowful.
🧡🧡🧡🧡 so much love.
Oh Lauren thank you for this. I listened to it for the first time (I usually read) and 2 things stood out to me.
1. How much I had missed your voice.
2. How much emotion your voice carried and how much more of an experience it was to listen to you while reading alongside.
Thank you so much, friend. This means a lot and as always I am so grateful for your reading (or listening).
Missing your voice, too. Hope it's in my ears again soon 🧡🧡
🧡
Feeling your love for them 💜
It was heartbreaking to watch my granny & grandad die. It was slow for both, though for different reasons. Grandad had bowel cancer and it was too far gone by the time they found it. He spent his last few months in hospital, his body shrinking, his big personality fading.
My granny had dementia. After grandad died, she struggled. Moved into a smaller house than the one they'd lived in since forever. Slowly got worse til she had to go into a home. The finish was particularly unpleasant, you know how dementia can be - people do all sorts of horrid things they'd never even dream of otherwise.
One time, there was a family party, can't remember what for. I came from where I was living, and shared a hotel room with granny for the weekend.
At the end, as we were packing to go, she stopped to say thank you to me, for not being impatient and snippy with her.
Broke my heart. But she was right, people were that way. Annoyed at her repeat questions, clearly feeling inconvenienced by her being there and need8ng someone to keep an eye on her, etc. I made it my job, and hung out with her the whole time.
When she died, it was after a massive stroke, and she lay unconscious in a hospital bed, scrunched up so small, until another came to take what was left.
Her funeral was horrible. People just acting like it was an annoying inconvenience to get through.
My sister asked me if I'd seen that too, and yep, I had.
It was also the first time anyone but immediate family had seen me since coming out as trans. Barely anyone bothered to even pretend they cared I was there. I was one of the pall bearers - all her grandkids and one great grandkid were. But that was it. A "well I suppose we shouldn't leave [deadname] out" thing.
It was also the first time they'd met Cuddles. Me showing up with a person was quite the unusual event, but nobody cared. I think got more reaction introducing her to my granny's unconscious, dying body 😠
Its all in the memories they left me though. No amount of my mother trying to tell me how awful her parents were works. And no, they weren't the best parents. But they were good people, and amazing grandparents. They were good to me when I had nobody. They were good to others just because they needed help.
Sorry for yet another long ramble 😆 I actually have my absentee grandfather on my mind today. So much has he had to do with my life that when my mum yesterday told me grandad had a fall, it took me a solid few seconds to realise who she was talking about!
Anyway. Love to you and poppy. I hope you can keep making him smile for a long time yet 💜
I am so grateful for you being a part of this community, thank you Lee 🧡
❤️
Beautiful heart-rending writing. 🧡🧡
Thank you, friend 🧡