We all hate seeing someone we love sad. Bad things happen, and we can’t just make them disappear. But I find so many wonderful people have amazing ways of making hard things feel just a little less… hard.
What is your favourite way to cheer someone up when they are sad? Are there things you say or do that are your go-to? Do you sit and listen and stay quiet? Do you have a magic recipe for food that makes everything better? Wouldn’t that be nice?
Ah the sads… I would ask the person if they want to be cheered up or if they want just quiet company. Ultimately my go-to way to cheer someone is to affirm that what they feel is valid and that I’m there for them in the specific ways that I am.
Really love the note re: specificity! I know how grateful I've been when friends say exactly what they can do or offer, giving me a break from having to figure out something I don't fully know, in the midst of being completely overwhelmed and unable to properly function.
I ask if they want to come over and hang out with my cat, no other obligations. I'll make tea and put on low-key jazz (I love Bill Evans and Ahmad Jamal for this!) and try to give as cozy a space as possible.
And although it's not a miracle cure-all, I do find that the Nigella Lawson triple chocolate buckwheat cookies are another kind of magic. Do they look like chunks of coal? Maybe, a little bit. Are they even more delicious frozen and eaten straight from the freezer? 100%.
I think the most important aspect of friendship is holding space...space to be sad, space to feel feelings, space to be happy, space to not know what we feel, space to be lost, space to be found, space to be cosy, space to feel free,space to feel scared, space to feel found, space to not even know what we feel, space to be seen, to be heard, space to be loved without conditions... holding space gives the other a safe haven where there are no pressures only to be themselves...I think this is the key to friendship, the key to life!! I have found this is where I heal, where I find my hope again and this is where I am most happiest....in that sacred place created by people I love....The only place we can't be sad is in a spaceship up in mars where we will go if the world wrecks all our heads and we will just make our way there if all options fail haha ;)
Ah the sads… I would ask the person if they want to be cheered up or if they want just quiet company. Ultimately my go-to way to cheer someone is to affirm that what they feel is valid and that I’m there for them in the specific ways that I am.
Really love the note re: specificity! I know how grateful I've been when friends say exactly what they can do or offer, giving me a break from having to figure out something I don't fully know, in the midst of being completely overwhelmed and unable to properly function.
LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS. Thank you. So important xx
I ask if they want to come over and hang out with my cat, no other obligations. I'll make tea and put on low-key jazz (I love Bill Evans and Ahmad Jamal for this!) and try to give as cozy a space as possible.
And although it's not a miracle cure-all, I do find that the Nigella Lawson triple chocolate buckwheat cookies are another kind of magic. Do they look like chunks of coal? Maybe, a little bit. Are they even more delicious frozen and eaten straight from the freezer? 100%.
Chocolate is never a bad idea for me.
I love this answer, all of it. Zero pressure in it all xx
I think the most important aspect of friendship is holding space...space to be sad, space to feel feelings, space to be happy, space to not know what we feel, space to be lost, space to be found, space to be cosy, space to feel free,space to feel scared, space to feel found, space to not even know what we feel, space to be seen, to be heard, space to be loved without conditions... holding space gives the other a safe haven where there are no pressures only to be themselves...I think this is the key to friendship, the key to life!! I have found this is where I heal, where I find my hope again and this is where I am most happiest....in that sacred place created by people I love....The only place we can't be sad is in a spaceship up in mars where we will go if the world wrecks all our heads and we will just make our way there if all options fail haha ;)
Can say with 100% confidence that you are so brilliant at holding space for others when they need it. Thank you 🧡🧡🧡