Love this reflection and the reflective space that you’ve created, Lauren... it's really tender and grounding. I have a go-to line for when it’s difficult to access self-love or love for others (during relational ruptures, regret, frizzy overwhelm, rage, shutdown, when shame has its grip, etc) and it’s this: "I care about this suffering". Hand on the heart and I keep offering it to myself until it lands (even if it takes all day! ha). I also imagine it reaching out and washing over a hurting loved one when they are in the throes of challenging emotions. Suffering that knows care is transformed.
Gosh, Maggy this is beautiful and powerful. Thank you for sharing with us. I am going to try this one for sure - for myself and for others - and I especially love that you will do this no matter how long it takes. That is key.
I really am so grateful for everyone who makes these threads the incredible conversations of wisdom that they are 🧡
This is a really good question L. I read it on Sunday but I needed to think on my answer, chew on it. Being a human is not easy & when we make mistakes or things go astray, it’s tricky. It’s hard to accept & it’s hard to move past sometimes. And when your nature is of goodness, the harder you hit that inner self when you make that error. But I think what I’ve learned best in my own space is, that I am human. I make mistakes. I make the wrong calls. I’ve let myself down & I’ve let others down but once I’m trying, that’s all that matters. And somewhere in my mistakes, I’ve learned. I’ve learned so many lessons & as days pass, I now realise I can see more clearly the big picture & hopefully less bad calls on my own end. But still I know bad things happen & I’ve no control on those sometimes 💖 I love how the Japanese look at these broken moments in our lives:
When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history, it becomes more beautiful 🥰 I love this 🙏
Ahhhh as always your words are thoughtful, kind and caring. Thank you so so much for sharing this with us and thank you for giving yourself this grace, too 🧡🧡
My therapist taught me a good one. I like to give myself an actual hug while telling myself "Hey, it's okay babe." the same way I would soothe a small child. It felt really strange the first few times I did it but it works really well and after a while it has started to become my instinctual response. :)
Self-compassion. I soothe myself the same way I would smooth a small child or a beloved. I found that when I try to avoid certain sentiments they come back even stronger so if I have an unkind thought then I forgive myself for that too.
Self-compassion. I remind myself that everyone messes up. I am in good company and I really didn’t mean to do it but that I am sorry for the impact. I will continue to try not to mess up in the future.
As always, I am so grateful for your wisdom shared as it always comes from a place of love and gentleness for self and others that I so admire and continue to aim for every day. This thread is full of love today 🧡🧡
I would love to say I am kind to myself, and forgiving, as I would be towards others. The truth is a bit uglier than that, I berate myself, mentally tell myself off and then relive the mistake at intervals for years - obviously depending on the mistake ;0)
I do try to be kinder to myself and try to look at it from a different perspective, as you said others met your mistake with kindness and love, but weirdly it is a hard thing to do for ourselves.
So much love Tracy, I relate to all of this so much. There are some lovely comments in this thread I am going to take and run with if you want to check them out. We deserve to care for ourselves the same way we would for others and some of my very wise friends have shared how 🧡🧡
Love this reflection and the reflective space that you’ve created, Lauren... it's really tender and grounding. I have a go-to line for when it’s difficult to access self-love or love for others (during relational ruptures, regret, frizzy overwhelm, rage, shutdown, when shame has its grip, etc) and it’s this: "I care about this suffering". Hand on the heart and I keep offering it to myself until it lands (even if it takes all day! ha). I also imagine it reaching out and washing over a hurting loved one when they are in the throes of challenging emotions. Suffering that knows care is transformed.
Gosh, Maggy this is beautiful and powerful. Thank you for sharing with us. I am going to try this one for sure - for myself and for others - and I especially love that you will do this no matter how long it takes. That is key.
I really am so grateful for everyone who makes these threads the incredible conversations of wisdom that they are 🧡
This is a really good question L. I read it on Sunday but I needed to think on my answer, chew on it. Being a human is not easy & when we make mistakes or things go astray, it’s tricky. It’s hard to accept & it’s hard to move past sometimes. And when your nature is of goodness, the harder you hit that inner self when you make that error. But I think what I’ve learned best in my own space is, that I am human. I make mistakes. I make the wrong calls. I’ve let myself down & I’ve let others down but once I’m trying, that’s all that matters. And somewhere in my mistakes, I’ve learned. I’ve learned so many lessons & as days pass, I now realise I can see more clearly the big picture & hopefully less bad calls on my own end. But still I know bad things happen & I’ve no control on those sometimes 💖 I love how the Japanese look at these broken moments in our lives:
When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history, it becomes more beautiful 🥰 I love this 🙏
Ahhhh as always your words are thoughtful, kind and caring. Thank you so so much for sharing this with us and thank you for giving yourself this grace, too 🧡🧡
My therapist taught me a good one. I like to give myself an actual hug while telling myself "Hey, it's okay babe." the same way I would soothe a small child. It felt really strange the first few times I did it but it works really well and after a while it has started to become my instinctual response. :)
I love this very much, Lolo 🧡 thank you for sharing xx
Oh, I love that. Thank you for sharing!
Self-compassion. I soothe myself the same way I would smooth a small child or a beloved. I found that when I try to avoid certain sentiments they come back even stronger so if I have an unkind thought then I forgive myself for that too.
Self-compassion. I remind myself that everyone messes up. I am in good company and I really didn’t mean to do it but that I am sorry for the impact. I will continue to try not to mess up in the future.
As always, I am so grateful for your wisdom shared as it always comes from a place of love and gentleness for self and others that I so admire and continue to aim for every day. This thread is full of love today 🧡🧡
wow, that is a really hard question...
I would love to say I am kind to myself, and forgiving, as I would be towards others. The truth is a bit uglier than that, I berate myself, mentally tell myself off and then relive the mistake at intervals for years - obviously depending on the mistake ;0)
I do try to be kinder to myself and try to look at it from a different perspective, as you said others met your mistake with kindness and love, but weirdly it is a hard thing to do for ourselves.
Sending you lots of love xx
So much love Tracy, I relate to all of this so much. There are some lovely comments in this thread I am going to take and run with if you want to check them out. We deserve to care for ourselves the same way we would for others and some of my very wise friends have shared how 🧡🧡