volume thirty-two
I love a good list
Hello!
After last week’s somewhat sad revelations, I am pressing forward with the excitement of what is to come. I have spent this week living in the future rather than the present — which I for sure do not recommend as a long term plan or in general — however, at the moment it is what is keeping me going.
My dear friend Brian, who lives near the ocean and the trees with his husband and creates the most beautiful art and writes about his beautiful life and art (dream life), told me something a few months ago that I just cannot shake.
“There are only so many Sunday afternoons.”
Sundays are my favourite, favourite, favourite day. Brian’s wisdom reminded me of one of my favourite books: 700 Sundays, by Billy Crystal that speaks of “the sadly precise amount of time shared by a devoted father and his adoring son.” REMINDER TO SELF: time is not infinite.
No matter what cycle of life I am, whether it be a nine to five, or a scattered I-might-even-be-working-today serving job, or funemployment, or on vacation, or working three jobs to make ends meet: Sundays have always been the best day, and I have made sure to carve out whatever I can from them, big or small, to honour that.
So as I head towards this next chapter, then the next and the next, I will live for Sundays. That is Sundays to come while still in Montreal and Sundays to come on my next stop (and the next and the next).
This week I am writing myself an evergreen list of my favourite Sunday afternoon activities to refer to when I feel uninspired, stuck, impatient or just want to remember the excitement I have ahead.
What are some of yours? Let me know in the comments.
Curl up with a cup of chai tea on the couch, watching the world go by, while instrumental blues or jazz plays in the background.
Take a slow walk in nature.
Sit on the beach and soak up the sun (with or without a good book is wonderful).
Have afternoon tea and pastry with a friend or a lover.
Go to a book shop and buy myself something from my wish list.
Sit and free-write as a way to end one week and start the next.
Water my plants while I sing to them.
See a matinee movie — preferably in the VIP section and use my points because I am thrifty.
Sit in a park and sketch.
Sit on a patio in the sun and sing along loudly to live pub covers.
Lay in bed with someone I can’t get enough of.
Take a walk through my neighbourhood with no to-do list or places I intend to stop, just time and curiosity.
Swim. In the ocean, in a river, in a lake. Float and let myself feel light as the (preferably salt) water washes away any worries from the week.
Go to a museum or an art gallery and pretend I know everything, then learn something. Or if that doesn’t suit my mood, go to something like the wax museum and play.
Go to the local market for baked goods, fresh produce or knick-knacks: leave with a new plant baby.
Give back – is there somewhere I can lend my time to someone or to an organisation?
Take a drive with someone out of town, get a change of scenery: take a picnic or my colouring books or my hiking shoes or my swimsuit.
Get two scoops of choc-mint ice cream in a waffle cone.
Look up shows happening in my area and buy myself a solo ticket to something I have never seen: theatre, music, visual art, slam poetry, dance…
Take a long lunch in good company.
Bake. Even if it is a pre-mix, and try to follow a recipe if I can. Lick the bowl.
Walk a dog — borrow one if needed.
Clean the mirrors in my home and wash my bedding so Monday feels fresh.
Write a gratitude list, choosing a particular subject: the week past, the week coming, things I can see wherever I am sitting, people I interacted with this week, songs that moved me this week, food I ate this week…
Start walking towards a part of town I have never been to.
Write my get-to list for the week ahead, preferably while sitting somewhere relaxing.
Build a snowman or a sandcastle — take my time. Decorate with scarves or seashells.
Meditate, do my best, use an app or a video to help, don’t punish myself for not being perfect, thank myself for showing up.
Write a letter to someone I miss, in my life or not. Sending it is optional but encouraged.
Plan my next trip — whether it is a night away or a month-long vacation, what is one thing I can check off my list to make it happen and ignite the excitement train?
Take a bath without my phone. Burn scented candles. Watch a documentary I have been meaning to see.
Sit with someone older and ask them about their life.
Slowly prep and cook my dinner from a recipe that requires patience.
Open all the windows in the house and burn my favourite incense.
Go to the bulk store and grab my favourite pantry fillers while I listen to the latest episode of my favourite podcast.
Sit in a busy place. People watch. Take note of things that inspire me or move me or interest me. Why?
Dance for hours at an outdoor concert.
Go to a recovery meeting. Show up early and help set up.
Get the less than desired early sitting at a restaurant that is otherwise hard to get into and see what all the fuss is about. Just ordering a drink and a starter is okay if that is what the budget allows.
Watch a classic movie that everyone has seen but me.
Lay on a blanket in the sun and phone a friend.
Take myself to a sushi restaurant alone and eat everything my heart desires, go home and nap.
Make a new playlist inspired by my mood.
Get a massage or a facial or a pedicure — or all of them! At home pampering is perfectly acceptable.
Go for a bike ride — remember what country I am in and try to ride on the side of the road that makes it less likely I will be hit by a car as I speed down windy hills…
Do yoga or zumba or something with a group where I can be outside my body for an hour. Do it with a YouTube video if that feels right today. Just intentionally move but do it gently.
Host a BBQ with people I love and make a day of eating and talking and playing games.
Look after some cute kids in my life (like my nieces or nephews) so their parents can have some time out. Enjoy being a child with them for the afternoon.
Find a meet-up group in my area and broaden my horizons with people and activities I am curious about.
Garden — if I don’t have my own then for a friend, or family member, or neighbour, or in a community garden.
Do a crossword or word search or jigsaw puzzle.
Watch the sunset.
DIY pizza. Let the dough rise throughout the day – get the dough from the bakery if making it from scratch doesn’t feel within my energy level today. Roll it out, prepare my favourite toppings, take my time. I could alternatively do huge oven-baked vegan nachos…
Hit up some garage sales and discover treasures for myself or people I know will love them. Make conversation with the homeowners while I browse.
Write a list of things I want to do but am scared to, or revisit my old list — have I checked anything off since I last looked?
I love you,
Lauren xoxo
Three things I struggled with this week:
If you’re in a couple and neither of you moves into single file when passing someone on a narrow snow-covered path, to allow this stranger to also use the cleared section… then congrats you found the perfect match. I am happy for you. ❄️
“Dear high heels. I didn’t know we were through, but the pandemimoore came, I am sorry. I love you.” As I went through my shoes this week, I put one heel on. Not a pair, one shoe. And I felt alive. And I felt sexy. And then I removed it and put my fuzzy slipper back on and said my goodbyes. Maybe my next chapters will inspire me to embrace the sexiness again one day. 👠
Maskne. I know, I know. Appearances do not make you a good or worthy person. Acne doesn’t change who I am. But for the better part of six weeks when I was in Australia I remembered what it was like to not be in pain constantly and how it felt to not be embarrassed by my face. It sucks, I do all the right things, I eat all the right foods, I barely go anywhere so I don’t even wear a mask most of the time and when I do it is a fresh one and I wash my face with gentle antibacterial things as soon as I take it off and I don’t wear face make-up anymore. It just so happens that I guess the climate in Montreal doesn’t like me. One more month and I am manifesting clear skin with a clear mind.😪
Three blessings from this week:
The most wonderful purchase I ever make is when I buy a plane ticket. I could spend hundreds of dollars on anything else and not feel this way. But buying a plane ticket ignites the prolonged excitement of things to come, that I know will ultimately climax in a beautiful experience. This is money very, very well spent. ✈️
Things feel easy and painless and are falling into place. How bloody wonderful.✨
I woke up on Wednesday morning and exclaimed “SUN!” oooooooh my long lost love how I have missed you! Sure, it is still freezing out, but I will take what I can get! ☀️
Three goals for the coming week:
Letting go of ~stuff~ and slowly but surely shed the layers in preparation for the next phase of my life. Things do not define me and the more I shed the layers, the clearer my vision will be to step into the next phase (and out of the comfort zone that has become my apartment.) 📦
Appreciate all of this spare time I have while I am funemployed, and remember how much time that means I have for the things that matter to me and that I love and that I have wanted to do but have been putting off. Make sure when the free time ends, I make space for these things and don’t fall into bad habits of being a workaholic again. 🕰️
Veganism. I haven’t eaten meat since I was fifteen, but veganism is something I only successfully did for a few years and then… the pandemimoore… and I was like “okay well I have lost so much, and I am so alone, and boo fucking hoo — I need cheese and croissants to fill the hole in my soul.” Also, did you know getting sober is like, really fucking hard? Anyway, I am approaching a year of sobriety (OMG), I am in the same month starting my new life chapter, I am feeling very guilty about how much I love animals and veganism is a great way to show that love (and I am very privileged to have that lifestyle readily available to me), also, this might be a last-ditch effort to assist is my pustule covered face. Writing it here and committing. Feel free to message me at any time and check in — I will need it! 🐮
What I am enjoying this week:
I recently read this piece from a friend, Paul Sockett, and thoroughly enjoyed all the ways it made my brain explore and think and reflect. It was so hard to choose a favourite part to pop here, as I cannot recommend reading the whole thing enough (6-minute read) but in the end, this line stood out to me the most:
“What I have noticed through practising empathy and curiosity in communication with myself and others is a shift of energy. It is now one of standing side by side with someone, not head to head. We look outwards together.”
If you feel inclined to say thanks for this post, please like or comment (it’s free and means so much!), forward it to a friend or you can buy me a slice 🍕
That list is like a 'how to live a great life' list. I too love Paul's words, he just seems to get to the heart of whatever he wants to say... unlike my ramblings.
Hooray for Sundays! And Sundays without heels, even better! Xx