volume seventy-nine

it suits you

I mentioned briefly in a previous post how a friend, who I meet with on Zoom regularly, when reflecting on my being home in Australia said “It suits you”.

I have thought about that comment a lot since then. In part because it feels so right. In part because hearing that maybe a year or two ago would have made me cringe but now it feels very much the opposite. I feel gratitude in someone recognising that I am exactly where I am supposed to be and gratitude that I didn’t arrive here a second too soon to overlook the magic.

Because this week is hectic for me in so many ways I cannot even begin to get into, and because they are easy (and fun) to write, this week I thought I would write you a list. I LOVE LISTS! 

Here are ten reasons why I think being home suits me:

1. I am solar-powered. When I get a daily dose of Vitamin D, whether prolonged via a walk or a swim or reading in the backyard, or even on the days I only steal a moment while hanging out the clothes on the line, my soul recharges.

2. Speaking of hanging out the clothes it pleases my heart that desires to take care of the planet, that I can hang my clothes to dry and do not need to use a dryer. They even feel different (better) when they have been hung to dry in the sun. The texture is so pleasing to me, in their crunchy softness. It makes sense to be crunchy and soft! If you know clothes fresh off the line, you know.

3. Food! I love food! I have noticed how much more colourful my plate has become, due to what I have access to given that more produce is available, and what my energy levels are craving on account of being more active in the outdoors, and given the fruits and vegetables I have missed that I cannot get in my other homes. I have mixed up my meals more than ever, without even giving it thought until now, writing this to you.

4. Early rising has always been my wake-up time of choice. Here, it is so easy to wake up at 5:30am to begin my day. My morning routine has even swapped around — opting for a stretch and move as my first activity, then breakfast, then writing. It used to be writing first, mostly so I could stay under the covers and prolong the bedtime warm. Here I love to greet the already warm day with movement as the sun rises, with no hesitation to get out of bed when I hear the beep of my alarm.

5. The sound of the ocean always around means I have the constant soundscape present that I have often had to listen to through headphones with ad breaks when I am elsewhere. 

6. The slower pace of life being with my grandparents makes me so much more relaxed yet productive. It suits me. I have read more since being here than I likely did all of last year. I have gotten past the 20k word mark on my novel. I have drawn, built puzzles, done word finds, played backyard games with Nan and Pop and still managed to maintain a freelance workload that I am thriving a little bit in if I say so myself.

7. I cannot stop drinking water. The weather here means I am craving it all day and night and as a result, my health and skin feel as glowy as my soul does.

8. I stopped wearing foundation. I have worn it every day more or less since I was fifteen years old. At some point in this trip I just stopped putting it on and just go for a little under-eye concealer (because that dark grey is just a fact of vegetarian life, thank you) and a little mascara because I happen to think my eyes are lovely, so to open them up is a treat for everyone, and then go on my way. I look in the mirror and I find myself whispering to myself how proud I am of myself, and how beautiful I am, and that feels so special. So new.

9. My style is evolving. It is no secret to long-term readers that over the course of the pandemimoore, I stripped back the items I had “just because everyone else did” and found my style again. But that seems to be even stronger here, where I have made one trip to donate a bag of clothes already, and am ready for a second one soon. Those trips among other pop-ins, usually involve me picking up another item or two second-hand that speaks to me. The most recent trip involved the man volunteering at the charity store to tell me how much he liked my style. I thanked him with all my heart and thought “Same” *insert teary happy eyes*

10. My accent is coming back. I heard it last night discussing The Bachelors with Nan, in a way that took me from well-thought-out sentences to a rudimentary and heated joyous vocabulary at the anticipation of who will get a rose and who wouldn’t. My happy dance speech involved hearing myself use words like “lounge” and not “couch” and an accent I had long forgotten about. Welcome back, baby!

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here are three things I struggled with this week:

🙃 It’s been a busy one, let’s leave it at that.

❤️‍🩹 It’s been a heart-challenging one, let’s leave it at that.

🧩 It’s been a procrastinated-filled one, let’s leave it at that.

here are three blessings from this week:

🌙 I have been looking for the moon every night and haven’t been able to see her since my trip north. It’s been disheartening. One night this week, the night following the most challenging day of my week, or even month, I went to close the blinds before bed, and there she was! “Nan! Look! The moon!” A sign that it is all going to be okay.

🍁 I passed my Canadian Citizenship Test!!!! Can you believe it?

😮‍💨 My ability to let it go and to hand it over.

here are three goals for the coming week:

🕰️ Make quality time with Nan and Pop happen before I go away for two months.

🧑‍🍳 Create a communal recipe notebook to live here at Nan and Pop’s house, that family can share recipes in, or take photos of the ones I love. Family secret cabbage rolls and Nan’s famous baked potatoes are among the first to be added.

🌈 Pray more, overthink less.

here is something I enjoyed this week: 

MY SUBSTACK CHAT! Thanks for all the love and hilarious support on my first nighttime outing in months. Love you!

pics or it didn’t happen:

artist’s date day involved second-hand shopping, ice cream (of course) and unlocking hidden childhood memories (corn on a stick by the water at the entrance)

I love you. I’m so grateful to those who read my substack 🧡 because I really love writing it to you.

LD

xoxo