volume one hundred and eighty-one
an incomplete list of places i have cried
📍Written propped up in bed, every window open, warm breeze trickling in, a singular windchime and the cicadas as the soundtrack, on Kabi Kabi Country (AKA The Sunshine Coast).
For the record, I love to cry. Here are some memorable moments.
🥲 The State Library of Victoria. Period.
🥲 A Calgary Walmart, where the only thing keeping me alive was the fact that I didn’t want that to be the place I died.
🥲 In a Zoom French class, unable to articulate homesickness.
🥲 Jetty Road Tattoo, Glenelg, just before sunset, while the man putting ink in my skin said “Cancer is a c*nt of a thing”.
🥲 The meditation garden at Graceland. On two separate occasions.
🥲In a Eumundi lounge room on a house sit, while infiltrating their YouTube algorithm with this.
🥲 Leaving a bank as I closed out my chapter of debt.
🥲 Onto a dog’s back cuddled in my arms.
🥲 Right before they told me I had to leave the Infinity Room.
🥲 Into the chest of a bartender, stone cold sober, because he looked like someone gone.
🥲 At the desk in my room of the Vibe hotel, Queen St when I finished the first draft of my novel.
🥲 Sprawled on my bed in Le Plateau-Mont-Royal looking at the stars out the window, the first time I read The Lesbian Masterdoc.
🥲 On the grounds of Norah Head Lighthouse, having just finished Our Flag Means Death and longing for the seas.
🥲 Marching in the Victoria, Vancouver Island Pride Parade in 2023.
🥲 Between decorative balloons when I got my Canadian Citizenship, gifted in celebration, but surrounding me in my fears.
🥲 In Nanny and Poppy’s kitchen, holding Nanny’s hands.
🥲 On my 33rd birthday. The Happy Birthday song I heard was to Ray, with 29 years.
🥲 Singing Kylie’s final song of the concert together, infinitely happy, my best mate pulled my hand to his face and kissed it.
🥲 All over the desk of Bryan Fernandez, who is an angel who saved my ass when doing Pop’s nursing home paperwork meant I got caught up and neglected my own ESTA paperwork.
🥲 In the arms of my younger sister, all grown up, holding me while I sobbed and then tucked me into bed when I was done.
pics or it didn’t happen:
I love you and I appreciate you reading my lists because I really enjoy writing them to you.
I love this list so much. As someone who cries easily I feel all of these!!
😢In the shower