volume fourteen
hello wisconsin
Heads up! Due to how many pictures there are this week — the email might be clipped in your inbox. Make sure you click “view entire message” at the bottom, or view it directly on Substack so you get the full picture and see my brain comprehend my teenage self in full!
If you are not me, you might have missed the huge news this past week that That 70s Show ‘reboot’ has been greenlit for a ten-episode follow up titled That 90s Show.
We don’t know too, too much yet, but what we do know is enough to get me all hyped up. It will be set about twenty years after the original show (math) and Red and Kitty will be two returning characters. Honestly? Thank god. They are the TV parents we all wished we had. Yes, even Red. Especially Red.
We know that the storyline will involve Eric and Donna’s daughter Leia returning to Point Place to spend the summer with her grandparents. TBD if other characters will make an appearance — but here’s hoping all but one of them do.
Before I dive into the fun I have prepared for this week — let’s just say I have all the feels about the fact that Eric and Donna ended up together. Yes they were high school sweethearts, yes they were my first ever throuple goals, yes I dove into my demisexuality deep without realising it, as I watched their love unfold on screen as a tween and yes I was equally mesmerised and in love with both of them and in love with their love. But also, I say all this with all my love in my heart, Eric never deserved Donna. I say that while also feeling so much damn joy they stayed together.
I mean who knows, maybe this follow up will have them separated, finally admitting how different they are and letting Donna travel the world as she wanted, building a dream career, living out her life not being tied down and then finding a cool wife who wants the same things as her (okay that last part is just my dream for her and defeats the purpose of me wanting her to follow her own dreams…). But until the show airs and I am updated on the past twenty years, I am going to do like I did with Liam and Miley and want them to be together so damn bad, loving their love. Then as soon as they split I will be initially heartbroken then pretty quickly recover knowing he never deserved her and he was holding her back.
The last thing I will say is of course their daughter’s name is Leia. As someone who finally watched all of the Star Wars films during the lockdowns, this was one part of Eric I never gelled entirely with, his Star Wars obsession that is. Now how do I feel you ask? You can’t stop the change, [in me] any more than you can stop the suns from setting. I am a fan.
Something you might not know about me but also might have picked up on is I LOVE That 70s Show. Like, I do not think I have watched a show so many times and laughed and cried at the same things no matter how much I am expecting them, and could maybe recite them word for word (anyone want to get together for a table read of an episode?). I learned about sex, drugs and rock & roll from that show. I truly, deeply believed I belonged in that world as a teenager, and quite honestly, I probably still do. The clothes, the music, the swinging parents (shoutout Bob & Midge!), the hair, the furniture, the disco, the television programs, the fact that none of them has a cell phone (I wish), the rise of the push back on assumed gender roles and female empowerment following the Equal Rights Amendment (shoutout Donna!), the cars, the way they spent their weekends, the rock, and the roll...
Let’s just say while writing this, I took this quiz I found on Reddit and got 19/20 right so...let me know how you do! (For the record it was the last question I got wrong.)
This week, in no particular order, because quite frankly that was more work than I was willing to put into this very fun brainstorm, I want to tell you some of my favourite moments from the original series that made me think “wow, what a long strange trip it’s been in Forman’s basement”. I will be rewatching the series ahead of the release of That 90s Show and am so excited to relive these moments.
Eric and Donna’s First Kiss.
So technically Eric and Donna’s first kiss was in the driveway after the Todd Rundgren concert, but this one after the disco was way better.
Fez at Halloween.
The fact that he is blown away by free candy (“they give you candy?”) then forces the team to take him out trick or treating, and of course, the time he dressed as Frankenfurter — Fez is Halloween.
Celebrity Cameos.
Okay, throughout the series we had Mary Tyler Moore, Brooke Shields, Gene Simmons, Tommy Chong’s reoccurring role, Barry Williams & Christopher Knight, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Seth Green, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, Luke Wilson, Bruce Willis (when Ashton was married to Demi Moore — iconic), Betty White, Jessica Simpson, Lindsay Lohan, Alice Cooper, Roger Daltrey and Gloria Gaynor… just to name a few. Seriously, there were SO many cameos it was awesome.
For the Record, No One is Prettier Than Bowie.
Red. Period.
The Dad that constantly put down his foot and thought all the teenagers were useless, had a heart of gold and was a hardworking man who was an (albeit strict) loving Dad. Just watch this and tell me you do not cry?
Eric Streaking.
On that note, we do not wait until Eric leaves to see Red’s love for him. It is shown throughout the whole series in his own way, as early as season one, episode three, when Eric streaks in order to interrupt Red’s question to President Ford (that was written for him and pre-approved) that then allows Red to ask his actual question which of course is a badass one and harder hitting. Later on, Red acknowledges he knew the streaker was Eric while also giving a nod of approval with his exchange:
Damn Jackie.
I mean this line is pretty damn memorable. So much so, I messaged some people about their favourite moments and this was the most common answer. How many times have you wished you brought a jacket somewhere and this line has run through your head?
But also, remember when Fez right after that gave Jackie his jacket? That happened in Season Three. I was always like ‘ugh’ about Fez and Jackie ending up together, but after researching and rabbit-holing a lot for this newsletter I kinda realised so many moments when it was always them.
Kelso Chooses Jackie.
Yes, Kelso was a jerk that cheated on Jackie a million times then held her actions over her when she kissed her co-worker, but ya know, whatever your feelings about it, this is a TV show, not real life and I still thought this was very cute and whatever. Teenagers who acted in scenes like this that grew up to fall in love and stuff IRL, are pretty adorable.
Jackie Chooses Herself.
When two characters are fighting over Jackie, she doesn’t choose between them. She chooses herself with this ICONIC line.
This line that I think of every October.
The Invention* of “Burn!”.
*cannot confirm
The One Time Eric and Laurie Got Along.
Red and Kitty Forever.
There are so many moments throughout the series where I am so, so glad the new series will be about them in a huge way, but there were too many to choose from (and not enough options on YouTube) so let’s leave this one here <3 Honourable mention to the Halloween flashback of their first party in their house and how cool they have always been.
The Musical.
Do you remember when Fez was so sad he felt like none of his friends were around anymore? Felt like they didn’t show interest in him, and the things he did? Didn’t sound like they at all cared about the musical he was going to be in that he had been preparing for, for weeks? I do. I remember Season Four, Episode Twenty Four when Fez imagines what his life would be like as a musical, then the whole episode is based around that. It is amazing.
Christmas Pageant.
The episode where Kitty gets the gang to volunteer for Pastor Dave's church pageant, with Eric as director. The group continuously try to make the pageant with a modern twist which almost ends up something like this...
The Circle.
I don’t remember the time that I clicked and realised what the circle actually was — but I know when I was young it went straight over my head. These conversations were always so funny. Gee, I wonder why?
The Other Circle.
This was the best circle of all time. The parents accidentally ate special brownies. Iconic. Kitty’s laugh is the best.
The Birds.
As someone who is TERRIFIED of birds, just, you know, in my day to day life, I have never seen the movie The Birds. I do however remember this iconic scene from That 70s Show, and that was enough for me.
Dine and Dash.
Kelso says he will take care of dinner and once they have eaten it is revealed he means they will Dine and Dash. One by one the friends drop off from the table leaving Eric and Donna there alone. There are also some pranks played when the friends who abandoned them call and order more food to the table — like a celebratory cake. The episode ends in this — dare I say heroic — moment. Love to see the rule followers break them in such a fashion.
The Pink Horse.
Quite honestly, this is hilarious. But the reason it is on my favourite list is that anytime I see this scene, I can hear my little sister’s laugh. When it was new, she and I were watching it together, huddled up on the couch, in hysterics. We were laughing uncontrollably as happy tears rolled down our faces. Then we went on to talk about it long after the episode ended, quoting “do you see a horse?” as our catchphrase for lots of time to come. “Do you see a horse?” became to us what “Excellent!” was to Bill & Ted, “Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!” was to Jan and “Burn!” was to Kelso.
Steven Tyler.
Donna dreamt that Eric was Steven Tyler. Her dreams knew what her waking mind couldn’t admit. Steven Tyler is the star of our dreams for a reason Donna!
The Promise Ring.
Exhibit A: Eric 👏 never 👏 deserved 👏 Donna.
But this still breaks my fucking heart. If you are me, grab your tissues.
Russian Death Ray.
Kelso, in all his wisdom, thinks he is giving the White House a heads up about the “Russian Death Ray” but really, he just sounds like he threatened the life of the President. They spend the rest of the day convinced they are being watched by the FBI. The fact that they’re all high doesn’t help.
Eric and Donna’s Last Kiss.
In case you hadn’t picked up on it from the rest of the newsletter, watching this as an adult, with more life and relationship experience, I have come to realise that Eric is an immature, selfish little shit. I just don’t know how I was so in love with them as a couple.
Then I watch this scene, and I am like oh yes, okay, damn. They’re in love. Young, complicated (when you really shouldn’t have to have your life complicated because that’s for your adult years) love.
Eric took off for a year without telling Donna he had decided that, broke up with her while he was in Africa (in the 70s too, so like no Facetime, how convenient for a coward), and then thinks it is all okay when he comes back?
It seems as though it is.
The magic was also that Topher Grace had long left the show, no one saw this coming. The world (?) collectively gasped and cried at the sound of his voice.
Ahhhh bless. I love them.
Damn it.
I love you,
Lauren
xoxo
Three things I struggled with this week:
You may have realised I went straight from volume 12 to 14. I don’t fuck with superstitions, especially in the spookiest month of the year.
I think I have mentioned this before but like, I need to get out of my head a little. Sometimes I feel that friends are doing things that I used to be invited to and am not anymore since I stopped drinking. But you know what? So what if that is true? It is none of my business either way.
Look it goes without saying, but my childhood crush, Eric Forman is a complete and total selfish loser. This was a lot to wrap my head around. (Donna still owns my heart, it is not all bad — realising she carried the relationship and my heartstrings).
Three blessings from this week:
They do not have a smartphone to send picture messages, they do not have a computer or a way to video call — but that didn’t stop my Nan and Pop from introducing me to their new pet budgie, Gordy, over the phone.
I keep saying that the pandemic changed my priorities. But that was wrong, it helped me realise them.
Life Hack: There was a work meeting where I couldn’t figure out how to turn off my (mentioned in previous volumes) Calm rain sounds. So I let them play. The people on the meeting couldn’t hear them in my headphones but I could. So I have started doing that intentionally now — especially on those could-have-been-an-email calls and I am so calm (no pun intended).
Three goals for the coming week:
Know the difference between my very important and sacred alone time, and feeling lonely. Act accordingly by planning things that fuel my soul in my spare time (that is not set aside for relaxing). AKA don’t let a Saturday be spent doom scrolling.
My new bed frame has been sitting in its box for nearly a week, waiting to be built. I will build it this week! I will not continue living like the stereotypes of every man from a dating app and not have a bed frame. I cannot become the enemy.
TW: Mental health and suicide: Did you know that 1 in 5 people experience symptoms of mental illness each year? In fact, every day in Australia, 8 people will die from suicide. Mental illness can be debilitating and can have a devastating impact on not only those living with it, but those around them. This October, I’ll be walking to make a difference to the lives of people touched by mental illness and suicide! I'm fundraising to raise money for life-changing research into the treatment and prevention of mental illness, as well as vital support services. It would mean so much to me if you'd support my walk this October. I am already so close to my KM goal and so close to my donation goal! Every dollar helps if you can and once I hit that 100km I will up my donation goal and keep walking!
What I am enjoying this week: Watching a clip of Miley Cyrus performing Janis Joplin’s Maybe and bawling my eyes out. Fucking magical and moving and raw and powerhouse rock and fucking roll that got me in all the feels on a rainy afternoon as I looked over my laptop screen and up at Janis’ Rolling Stone cover framed, mounted on my wall, smiling down at me as the constant reminder to be my fucking self. Trying to make a rock and roll, bisexual, legendary icon I never had the pleasure to meet — but whose work and attitude transcends time to get me through so much heartbreak, loss, worry, grief, joy, change, love — proud every day, is a life goal.