Nessa Chileshe (she/her)

This episode was recorded on National Coming Out Day and released on Nessa’s birthday. So like everything else Nessa does, it is perfect. I am obsessed with this human. As a fellow iconic demisexual — among other amazing identities she will discuss in this episode — Nessa is an incredibly talented stand-up comedian, a super gifted and accomplished screenwriter and one of my favourite travel companions.

Nessa opened up to us about how not having the words for your sexuality can hold you back from expressing yourself. However, once you have a label to put on it, it can be so beneficial to feel confident in yourself and how you will navigate relationships.

nessa and lauren’s first meeting was iconic, of course

God is a huge part of Nessa’s story and continues to be. We get to hear the journey from coming out at a young age in Catholic school — which ultimately affected the course of her coming out entirely — to now. I am really grateful to hear how she has found a space to be a wonderful queer human who is ever present in her faith.

Maybe the best line from an MDSML episode, ever? When Nessa says: “It was filth, but it was my filth, and I loved it”.

In this episode:

• We examine the trials and tribulations of demisexuality!

• Nessa and I miss each other a lot and want to be IRL together again!

• The importance of God in Nessa’s life is discussed and where sexuality fits into that!

• We reminisce on a cemetery walk we took together when we met!

• Lauren discovers how important MCR (and fan fiction) was for a lot of sexual awakenings — including Nessa and Alexi!

• Nessa applies WWJD to her coming out and I AM HERE FOR IT!

• We compare bisexuality and pansexuality and how people receiving the information of your sexuality might mean opportunities are being ruled out!

RESOURCES

• Follow Nessa on Instagram: @nessa.chileshe

• Subscribe for free to read Nessa’s Substack: nessacwrites.substack.com 

🌈 An article you might like. (Do you have one you want to share? That you wrote? Send it to me mydadstolemylimelight@gmail.com)

🌈 Queer joy of the week. (Email me your joy mydadstolemylimelight@gmail.com so I can share it with the community!)

previously unreleased peak lockdown footage: I snapped this pic after I got off a call with my pal ali. she was the first person I told about my podcast and she was so supportive and EXCITED (and I was so nervous I had kept the idea inside for a while with my imposter syndrome). I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face after that call and I cried a little bit, I just knew I needed to capture the moment.

🌈 5-star review showcase. (Give us a 5-star review to see yours here!)

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resources, with love

be a guest on MDSML

listen to my dad stole my limelight 🌈here

more of the pod and LD here

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love you!

lauren deborah

xx